I'm just wondering ...

why some friends who I used to close with,

are now not close at all already.

Hrmmm....

I tried, I failed.

I thought I can adapt to a new place well. I guess I've been too over-confident. After a year in UK, I'm regret to say that I still not used to the life here. I've tried to enjoy the life here, but failed. I feel so insignificant sometimes, till I don't think anyone will give a damneven if I suddenly disappear one day.

Maybe I've been pampered for too long before this. Was a princess since born, loved by parents and brothers. Even the friends in Malaysia, I know they cared about me alot. I can feel the warmth and joy whenever being with them. And I know I can turn to them whenever I need someone. Here, everyone seems to enjoy their lives so much, and I'm the only left out. What I can feel is only the cold weather with the strong wind...

Guess I will never learn how to be independent, how not to cry, how to be strong. I know I'm such a lousy girl. I've nothing good, I've nothing for myself to be proud of and stand confidently. I'm nobody. At least I know I'm nobody here.

After crapping so much, I know I still need to hang in there, for another 2 years in a place I refuse to call it a h-o-m-e.

Bear with my emoish mood, ppl.

Sign off.

Friday the 13th

is a bad-luck-day because of the day and the date, they said.

But I'm still here trying my luck of getting some opinions on an assignment of mine:

International law is not law in any meaningful sense of the term. It is best understood as a branch of international politics.

hehe=P

Fyi ( to those who are not law students), international law is basically dealing with the issues of international especially international disputes and wars.

Hahah, welcome any useful and useless opinions.

Much appreciated.

:)

So, why Law?

Met a Singaporean friend in Costa. Both of us were trying to study there while waiting for the lecture time.

Then she came to this question: "Actually why are we studying law?"  Because we love law? We love reading cases? we love reading regulations? Crap, who wouldn't want a better and more relaxing life? Undoubtedly, I have interest in law, but I can't see myself as a lawyer in the future. I thought I would be in business world next time. So Yeah, why am I still choosing such a heavy course. I remembered I told mum before, that if I choose courses relating to Design, I would always stay in cafes enjoying the life with a cup of coffee and magazines. Yes I love this kind of life! And if I choose courses relating to Maths, I would have life of "keep doing" instead of "keep reading", which I find life will be easier then.

Okay, so why am I choosing Law? Am I regretting?

Frankly speaking, I don't really know why am I always love burdening myself. Just like during secondary school, I could have chosen a simple and relaxed life, but I joined debate and had 5 years of hectic life. Where people were away for holidays, I had to stay for competitions and society's stuff. Just like during SPM, I can choose for the minimum subjects, but instead I've chosen 13 subjects to sit in SPM. I know I was a freak for taking up so many subjects without any valid reasons. But now looking back, I am proud of myself, for being able to go through all these when others have no chance to. Did I ever regret? No, not even a second. Let me choose again, I will choose to remain the same!

I am stubborn enough to always choose a harder route instead of a more relaxing one. I am not sure why so, but one think I'm sure of -- that I won't regret for choosing it. I've foregoed my right to have a relaxing life. I've chosen a life full of judgments, assignments and readings. I knew the 3 years in UK gonna be tough for me, especially when I'm not good in English. I knew it before I chose it.  You can either interpret it as I'm too brave to take up challenge, or I'm too stupid in making choices. Haha.

I love law, not as a career, but as one of my interests. I love learning and understanding it. But I hate memorising it, that's why I hate sitting for law examination. But who loves it?  So just bear with it, do your best, and move on!

I love law, I have no regret choosing it.
I am having a heavier life when I have a lighter option, but I have no regret.
I'm ready for the challenges. Good luck to myself! :)

Totally random.

Named this as "Totally random", because I've no idea what title should I put. Frankly speaking, I'm here updating my blog not because I feel like writing down something, but I've nothing better to do now. So it's totally out of structure, and nothing really important. So read it only when you are like me, nothing better to do. xD


Me dislike Thursday. The timetable just almost driving you crazy: 9-10am, 3pm-6pm. In between the long gap, I decided not to go home. And fyi, my house is actually quite near to uni, but I'm just tooo lazy to walk back / wait for a bus. So I went to Costa Coffee alone, and guess what? I actually S-t-u-dent-d-i-e-d! For 2 hours, I've only talked to the boook, till Linda came. Hahah....:p


I'm quite proud of myself because I've started to study even it's only week 3 now. And this did not happen back in last year=p Although I never hit the target I set out for myself everyday due to my slowness in reading and comprehensing, at least I read quite cnsistently so I won't lost track on every modules. Oh well, I'm not nerd. Just that I've promised myself to STUDY CONSISTENTLY this year. And I hope I can maintain it at least till this year end, otherwise I would definitely regret when exam comes.


Alright, you can't blamed me but I was actually not concentrating on the last lecture today. Kept thinking of the December plan. Hahah... I'm not going back to Msia this year end. And I'm trying to persuade Y.Cheng bro to come over.  Ivan bro asked me to go USA as he will go and meet his gf  on dec, but I've got no Visa, and I can only travel for 2 weeks as I need to study for the other 2 weeks(no choice, got exam after the break =.=).  And he made me felt excited for few seconds when he told me he's going to Japan also. But then it will be on January, and by that time, uni going to resume. -_- 


So, where else can I go?? I want to travel!!!! Hahah, whoever staying in uk during winter break, tell me your plan okay!! ;)


***********************


Okay, I know this is random, but yeah - out of my expectation, I always think of Grandma ever since I came here. Many many little things actually reminded me of her, even the pillow that I bring it along with me here, it was sewed by her. Guess we always know to treasure something only when it's gone. Miss you lots.


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Okay, guess I've run out of things to update already. Will just post some random photos (all not clear cuz they were taken by camera that is less than 5 megapixels :p)  :

 Maahhhh new coat! Love the colour but it's super easy to get dirty x.x

 This is always what I will do when I'm getting bored of studying...=P

My crazy darling in University of Warwick!

Okay till then, Stay cheered!!

and Young! xP

My 19th!

The celebration was great.

The gang of Malaysian friends

+

My favourite Tiramisu cake

+

My dream bag (Juicy Couture)

What else can I complained??

Thank you guys, for making me feel loved, and cheering up my day.

<3

p/s: Chinese version of birthday post : click here